Bush or Gore ??

[BlackBird]

Which one is the best for the airline industry ?? Your votes please !

[Captain_Anonymous]

Gore! Just because he knows for example that Amsterdam is the capital of Holland. ( Bush thinks it's the capital of Denmark....) I heard that Bush has only been out of the US twice....

------------------

[Luke_Davies]

i may hope that mr. G.W. B. who is responsible for the execution of the death penalty of more than 100 people is not allowed to become the next president of the United States.
What is best for all people is also the best for the airlines.

[traveler]

I heard that Bush has never left his country before.
Let me check that.

[Welcome_Aboard]

It may not matter who is best……We may still be counting votes until the next election.
http://www.crewstart.com/ubb/images/icons/grin.gif

[Captain_Anonymous]

When surfing the web, I noticed following article:

The United States Association of Flight Attendants has come out against George W. Bush because of his ties to Frank Lorenzo.

The following is a statement by Association of Flight Attendants International President Patricia Friend:

"One of George W. Bush's strongest supporters is Frank Lorenzo. Lorenzo's hostility towards workers and unions and his lack or regard for airline safety is well documented. Lorenzo's financial and political support for candidate George W. Bush should be enough for every airline worker and passenger to deny their vote to George W. Bush.

"If George W. wins, Lorenzo's support may be rewarded with a free pass back into the airline business, given the nature of political favors in Washington, DC. Lorenzo's return to the airline industry is alleged to have already been discussed by Bush's father, the former President, at a Bush campaign rally.

"It is public record that Lorenzo's failures in safety and his abhorrent record of worker abuse forced the Department of Transportation under the Clinton/Gore Administration to deny Lorenzo's 1994 attempt to re-enter the airline industry. But Lorenzo will get a fresh start under George W., and that would spell disaster.

"When voting, I urge every airline worker, family member and airline passenger to consider Lorenzo's support for Bush, and Bush's possible support for Lorenzo. Don't help Frank Lorenzo back into the airline business."

[Welcome_Aboard]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Arial, Verdana ">quote:<HR>Originally posted by Welcome Aboard:
It may not matter who is best……We may still be counting votes until the next election. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I wrote that on Nov 11.
Update for Nov 14: We are still counting…and re-counting…and re-counting……
Stay tuned.

2,910,203… 2,910,204… 2,910,205…

[traveler]

Oh, we stopped counting.
Oh, no, we're starting again.

2,910,212... 2,910,213...

[flyboydc]

Aw shit! You interrupted me! Now I have to start over again!

1, 2, 3, 4, 5...

Hello President Hastert!

[Welcome_Aboard]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Arial, Verdana ">quote:<HR>Originally posted by flyboydc:
You interrupted me! Now I have to start over again!
1, 2, 3, 4, 5... <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> http://www.crewstart.com/ubb/images/icons/grin.gif http://www.crewstart.com/ubb/images/icons/grin.gif


Flyboydc,
Oooops…sorry.
Uh, by the way…I think that last ballot you looked at is not a tri-chad. Hold it up to the light again and I think you’ll see that it’s actually a pregnant-chad…or, could be just a dimpled-chad.

I know, I know…I realize it’s easy to tell the difference between the hanging door-chad and the swinging door-chad and it gets much more difficult when we get into pregnant and dimpled chads. But ya gotta remember that the whole world has been watching us for the last week, and we just gotta be dignified about this. Know what I mean?

*Bringing flyboydc a snack and a soda…putting on some background music…and quietly leaving*


THE PALM BEACH POKEY (To the tune of The Hokey Pokey)...

You put your stylus in,
You put your stylus out,
You put your stylus in,
And you punch Buchanan out.
You do the Palm Beach Pokey
And you turn the count around,
That's what it's all about!

You put the Gore votes in,
You put the Bush votes out,
You put the Gore votes in,
And you do another count.
You do the Palm Beach Pokey
And you turn the count around,
That's what it's all about!

You bring your lawyers in,
You drag the whole thing out,
You bring your lawyers in,
And you put it all in doubt.
You do the Palm Beach Pokey
And you turn the count around,
That's what it's all about!

You let your doctors spin,
You let the pundits spout,
You let your doctors spin,
And your people whine and pout.
You do the Palm Beach Pokey
And you turn the count around,
That's what it's all about!

You do the Palm Beach Pokey,
You do the Palm Beach Pokey,
You do the Palm Beach Pokey,
That's what it's all about!

Charlie Henrickson, copyright 2000

[traveler]

Ohw, sjucks. So the pregnant-chad counts too now ?
Well alright, here we go again.
Come on flyboydc and Welcome Aboard and anybody who cares to help.
We'll get y'all certified here and lets get to it, again !

1..2..3..4..5..

[Welcome_Aboard]

Faster you guys…count faster!
This was just received by the US Government……

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
AN IMPORTANT MESSAGE!!
Subject: Message From The Queen Mother

To the citizens of the United States of America,

Following your failure to elect anybody as President of the USA to Govern yourselves and, by extension, the free world, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence.

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume a monarch’s duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy.

Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, please comply with the following acts:

1. Look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary.

2. Learn at least the first 4 lines of "God save the Queen"

3. Start referring to "soccer" as football

4. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It really isn't that hard.

5. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know on your behalf.

6. Learn to play rugby

7. Enjoy warm flat beer and British cuisine

8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday, this has been replaced with November 7th. It will be called "Indecisive Day".

9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean.

10. Driving on the left is now compulsory

11. Report to our Consulate General in NY - M. Wragg - for your new passport.

12. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.

Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776). Thank you for your cooperation and...have a jolly nice day!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
*Throwing another batch of ballots to traveler……putting pillow under over-worked and now sleeping flyboydc’s head*

Coffee and donuts are on the credenza for the late night shift counters.

[flyboydc]

(From The Onion)

ELECTION NEWSFLASH!

BELGRADE--Serbian president Vojislav Kostunica deployed more than 30,000 troops to the U.S. Monday, pledging full support to the troubled North American nation as it struggles to establish democracy.

"We must do all we can to support free elections in America and allow democracy to gain a foothold there," Kostunica said. "The U.S. is a major player in the Western Hemisphere and its continued stability is vital to Serbian interests in that region."

Kostunica urged Al Gore, the U.S. opposition-party leader who is refusing to recognize the nation's Nov. 7 election results, to "let the democratic process take its course."

"Mr. Gore needs to acknowledge the will of the people and concede that he ahs lost this election," Kostunica said. "Until America's political figures learn to respect the institutions that have been put in place, the nation will never be a true democracy."

Serbain forces have been stationed throughout the U.S., with and emphasis on certain trouble zones. Among them are Oregon, Florida, and eastern Tennessee, where Gore set up headquarters in Bush territory. An additional 10,000 troops are expected to arrive in the capital city of Washington, D.C. by Friday.

Though Kostunica has pledged to work with U.S. leaders, he did not rule out the possiblity of economic sanctions if the crisis is not resolved soon. "For democracy to take root and flourish, it must be planted in the rich soil of liberty. And the cornerstone of liberty is elections free of tampering or corruption," Kostunica said. "Should America prove itself incabable of learning this lesson on its own, the international community may be forced to take stronger measures."

[AirHead]

NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE

To the citizens of the United States of America,

In the light of your failure to elect a President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today.

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties
over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy. Your new prime minister (The rt. hon. Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be
circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up "aluminium". Check the pronunciation guide.
You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary". Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication.
Look up "interspersed".

2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know on your behalf.

3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It really isn't that hard.

4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys.

5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen", but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get confused and give up half way through.

6. You should stop playing American football". There is only one kind of
football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good game.
The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders
may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football.
Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve
stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US rugby sevens side by 2005.

7. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons if they give you any merde. The 98.85% of you who were not aware that there is a world outside your borders should count yourselves lucky. The Russians have never been the bad guys. "Merde" is French for "sh*t".

8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 8th will be a new national holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Indecisive Day".

9. All American cars are hereby banned.
They are crap and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean.

10. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.

Thank you for your cooperation.

[Welcome_Aboard]

Update for Nov 17 (ten days after the election):

We are told that we will know who our President will be by tomorrow, the 18th. But there are still on going legal battles and the hand count continues as I write this.

Lawyers from both sides are now claiming……

http://welcomeaboard.tripod.com/HeadUpButt04.jpg

[otterman]

&gt;
&gt; Something to ponder...
&gt;
&gt; 1. Imagine an election in a third-world country in which the
self-declared
&gt; winner was the son of the former prime minister -- and imagine that the
&gt; former prime minister was himself the former head of that nation's secret
&gt; police.
&gt;
&gt; 2. Imagine that the self-declared winner lost the popular vote, but won
&gt; based on some old colonial holdover from the nation's pre-democracy past.
&gt;
&gt; 3. Imagine that the self-declared winner's "victory" turned on disputed
&gt; votes cast in a province governed by his brother.
&gt;
&gt; 4. Imagine that the poorly drafted ballots of one district -- a district
&gt; heavily favoring the self-declared winner's opponent -- led thousands of
&gt; voters to vote for the wrong candidate.
&gt;
&gt; 5. Imagine that that members of that nation's most despised caste of
&gt; former slaves, fearing for their lives/livelihoods, turned out in record
&gt; numbers to vote in near-universal opposition to the self-declared
&gt; winner's candidacy.
&gt;
&gt; 6. Imagine that hundreds of members of that most-despised caste were
&gt; intercepted on their way to the polls by state police, operating under the
&gt; authority of the self-declared winner's brother.
&gt;
&gt; 7. Imagine that six million people voted in the disputed province, and
&gt; that the self-declared winner's "lead" was only 327 votes -- fewer,
&gt; certainly, than the vote-counting machines' margin of error.
&gt;
&gt; 8. Imagine that the self-declared winner and his political party opposed
a
&gt; more careful, by-hand inspection and re-counting of the ballots in the
&gt; disputed province, or in its most hotly disputed district.
&gt;
&gt; 9. Imagine that the self-declared winner was himself a governor of a
major
&gt; province, and that his province had the worst human-rights record of any
&gt; province in his nation, and actually led the nation in executions.
&gt;
&gt; 10. Imagine that a major campaign promise of the self-declared winner was
&gt; to appoint like-minded human-rights violators to lifetime positions on the

&gt; high court of that nation.
&gt;
&gt; WE'D SEND IN THE MARINES, WOULDN'T WE??
&gt;
&gt;

[Erin]

Al Gore dancing victory!

http://www.algoredance.com/dancemastergore.gif



[This message has been edited by Erin (edited November 26, 2000).]

[Welcome_Aboard]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Arial, Verdana ">quote:<HR>Originally posted by Welcome Aboard:
We are told that we will know who our President will be by tomorrow, the 18th. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I posted that message on Nov 17. It’s now two weeks later and……we still don’t know who our President is.

This week a judge ordered that the ballots in question (about 1.5 million of them) were to be trucked from the South Florida counties to the state capitol Tallahassee (468 miles/ 753 km to the North).

To refresh your memory of the problem we are having with the above mentioned ballots, I only need to say one word…”chad” (The little thingie that is supposed to be punched out of the ballot). I know, I know…we, here in the US, never heard of the little buggers either until three weeks ago. We now have chads out the wazoo.

We have……
* * * * * * * * * * * * * *
The Hanging chad (attached by one corner)
http://welcomeaboard.tripod.com/chadhanging02.gif
* * * * * * * * * * * * * *
The Swinging chad (attached by two corners)
http://welcomeaboard.tripod.com/chadswinging02.gif
* * * * * * * * * * * * * *
The Dimple chad (A slight indentation)
http://welcomeaboard.tripod.com/chaddimple02.gif
* * * * * * * * * * * * * *
The Pregnant chad (A more prominent protrusion)
http://welcomeaboard.tripod.com/chadpregnant02.gif
* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

As the truck convoy drove North, it was reported that it stopped at Disney World in Orlando to allow Mickey Mouse and company to make the final decision. But Mickey and his friends threw their hands up in disgust and sent the trucks on their way when all of the lawyers rushed in…both sides claiming victory.

**pausing to clear throat and take a sip of water**

Another report stated that the truck convoy had to make an emergency stop because 10,000 of the pregnant chads went into premature labor, resulting in 10,000 more ballots than they started with. It has not been determined which candidate these newly born chads will be officially accredited to, but a smiling Vice-President Gore was last seen handing out cigars and saying, “It’s a CHAD”.

Well, that’s all I can think of for now. Any questions? No? Then I’ll just gather up all these little chads and be on my way.

[flightdeck]

Today, sunday 10th of december, they are promising that tomorrow there will be a decision. But I beg you! try not to. We europeans love this soap, it's much better then the Bold and the Beautiful!

Pleeeeaaaaase...

------------------
If God had intended man to fly, He would not have invented Spanish Air Traffic Control.

— Lister, in the BBC TV series, 'Red Dwarf.'

[traveler]

4.354.292 ..4.354.293 ..4.354.294 ..
Huh ? What ? Stop ?
You mean, stop right now ? Oké ! ( sigh )
You are the boss.

[Erin]

I'm gonna win! I'm gonna win!

http://www.tvdance.com/bush-gore/1anew.gif

[Welcome_Aboard]

**Tapping microphone…**

”Testing, 1,2,3”…

**waiting for feedback to die down**

The now famous Ryder Truck that transported the ballots and chads (hanging, swinging, dimpled, AND pregnant) from South Florida to Tallahassee is now up for auction at the Yahoo Auctions.

As I write this, the highest bid (on a truck that is worth $16-17,000) is $81,100. Who knows how much higher it will go.……Click here. (http://page.auctions.yahoo.com/auction/46169689)


**flipping through notes, checking for anymore news**

That’s all for now. Please check back for Special News Bulletins.

[Welcome_Aboard]

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *
SPECIAL NEWS BULLETIN
* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

It’s official…

George W. Bush is now the 43rd president of the United States.

It’s finally over…
…We think.

It has been rumored that on Inauguration Day, Gore will be seen climbing the scaffolding (several ballots and chads in hand), trying to reach the podium, muttering, “It’s mine I tell you…mine!”


P.S.----The US Government would like to extend a personal apology to flightdeck for ending this daily drama. We realize that he (along with many, many Americans) may soon begin to suffer from ‘election withdrawals’.