Chemistry

[Audrey]

Okay folks... I thought I'd get your opinion on this one. A while ago, I rekindled a friendship with an old ex of mine. My highschool sweetheart, actually. Anyhow, after a couple of months of spending time together, things started to gravitate into something which was becoming more than just a friendship. The Reader's Digest version is this: He's amazing - everything I want in a man - but the chemistry is lacking. It's somewhat there. I haven't figured out if it's because he's someone I've already been with (which means the "newness" isn't there) or if it's something else. Would you give it a shot, despite this missing link? I mean, intimacy (read: awesome and frequent sex!) is very high up on my list of priorities! :grin:

All suggestions welcome! :grin:
Audrey

[bridget74]

So just curious...have you had sex with him yet? :grin:

I'm personally for finding out! I mean, how do I know if the shoes fit until I try them on? :grin:

[skygirl2003]

You gotta go with the sex thing first. Everything else should come into place, after that. You'll know. Remember to pay attention to those, "red flags", though. Just my opinion. :laugh:

[traveler]

Yep, try it on for size for a little while.
Leave the tag on.
Then you can still return it to the store … if you find yourself having too many disappointing thoughts.
:pilot:

[Doc._K_N_Owitall]

Well, I dunno …
How long do you suppose the ‘newness’ is going to be there anyway ?
I mean, are you looking for long term ?
If this newness is very important to you than maybe you are not ready for serious steady.
Cause one can’t find this in one person and would therefore keep looking for new exciting people anyway.
That’s why a lot of people have short affairs, the excitement of new.
Nothing wrong with that, to each her own, as long as you know that’s what you want.

So, when you feel you’re ready to commit to someone who won’t constantly irritate you but actually treat you well, then maybe it is time for you to seriously consider this guy.

If you are still very much distracted by the ever so handsome stranger …. who stimulates your senses just right … then you’ve found your answer. You are not ready, no matter how perfect this old flame may seem on paper.

Ask Marc Anthony … it takes two to tango !

[Audrey]

LOL :grin: You guys are hilarious. Thanks for your replies. Bridget, the shoe fit very well before... but you know how styles and tastes change! To answer your question, no, we never had sex. Surprising, actually, considering my out-of-control sex drive! :grin:

Doc, you make a good point. I think I'm torn between being able to settle down and the stimulating "handsome stranger" syndrome. Until something feels 100% right, I'll probably oscillate between the two. Either that, or I need to find myself a "benefit friend" and get this out of my system! http://www.click-smilie.de/sammlung/grinser/grinser041.gif

My question is, should I try on the shoe, leaving the tag on, knowing that he's ready to rip it off and commit?

Audrey

[Karen 737]

<font color="pink"> Honey, if he's everything you want in a man then go for him.
I think I've told this story about a million times, but I'm in it, so I never tire of it.
My current husband was my dream guy,
I turned down 3 people to go out with him, but he was already married.
But, I never gave up even with a small problem (your's is chemistry mine was his 1st wife), and you shouldn't either.
Anyway, this guy is special, a child-hood sweetheart is not just a normal relationship, like Prada are not just shoes, and vodka is not just a morning beverage.
Kisses
Karen </font color>

[Dr._Playmate]

Audrey dear, that's a tough one... If he's great, go for it. But as I always say, sex is everything in a relationship. If you don't want to pursue this long term, then try the shoe on and to relieve the drought, just consider him a "shoe with benefits"...

Dr. Penelope Playmate

Disclaimer: Data and information is for the humourous consumption of the audience. No one shall be entitled to claim detrimental reliance on any information provided or expressed. Violations of Section 69 are subject to criminal prosecution in a sexual court.

[bridget74]

Audry,

Me? I'm for trying the sex. Maybe you'll find there IS chemistry, but you just haven't seen it until now.

I had a male friend who once compared dating women to test-driving a car. And like cars, women come in a variety of makes and models. Same goes for the men.

You've got your sporty models, your SUVs, your pickup trucks, your mini-vans, your compact models...each comes with it's own benefits and drawbacks. For example, the Mazda Miata is a great little sporty car, but if you purchase it, you can forget having kids. There's no room in the car to put them. Similarly, you can purchase that Ford Astro mini-van, and you'll have tons of room for kids, but forget looking anything close to cool. And acceleration? Hah...kiss it goodbye. :grin: SUVs are great fun, and can often do both the rugged thing and the kids thing at the same time. Gas milage, however, just sucks. :wink_2:

So I see nothing wrong with taking this car out for a spin. It beats just staring at it on the showroom floor! Maybe, if you like it, you can rent it for a while. But leave the contract open for the time being. Don't rush into this purchase. Drive it for a couple of months, see if it fits you. Then, if you really like it, you can always purchase it at the end of the contract. :cool_2:

[Dr. Loverboi]

Audrey,

I have to partially agree with Dr._Playmate. Sex IS everything in a relationship. Well, it's a lot. :grin:

However, so is chemistry and romance.

If the chemistry and romance is not there, the sex will not be as great as you would hope it to be. You would end up with a relationship that is unbalanced, and this will catch up to you sooner or later.

You have already had a relationship with this guy, and somehow it didn't work. Whatever caused it not to work before may still be a factor in the future. It's difficult to make a diagnosis without further study of the circumstances.

And it seems that you're trying to pursue a high-quality, long-term relationship, albeit laden with incredibly gaudy amounts of perspiration-causing, muscle-aching, vocal cord-stretching, wall-busting, bed-breaking, disturbance-causing sex, which leaves your genitalia sore and both of you walking very gingerly the next morning.

Good for you. :grin:

But what do you do in the meantime, until you either find this so-called "handsome stranger", or "the man of your dreams"?

Give me a call. :grin:

[flymeaway]

Audrey,

Ever been shopping for a certain special occasion, and found the absolutely perfect outfit? You know the one that was practically tailored to your body, the color is fantastic, you don't have to dry clean it to keep it looking fabulous, and you found it at 50% off...

And then somehow, magically, it just doesn't ring the same bells when you pull it out of your closet a year later. Still fits great, color and fabric still looks off the shelf...but now its just something to wear rather than your Favorite(tm) Dress.

The newness and excitement have worn off.

But is it comfortable? Do you still feel good wearing it? Will it go out of style next season, or is it classic? Can you see it in your closet for the long haul, or is your fashion sense telling you to pack it off to Goodwill and go shopping instead?!

I guess the point is that, in my experience, sometimes the comfort factor becomes bigger than the new-and-exciting factor. Your memories spent wearing this guy and your desire to make new ones becomes more important than the feeling of butterflies in your stomach.

I agree with the others that the sex is important. If practiced on a regular basis, it makes the good times great and the bad times bearable! But don't read this and immediately go jump the guy...(unless you want to, of course!) If you're not feeling it, then maybe its time to take him to Goodwill! But just maybe you'll find that some sparks will start flying after you take the plunge! All this time knowing each other and being intimate - without actually doing it...maybe its time to release some of that pent up energy and find out what kind of reaction you two create!

In either case, sounds like you have a long-time friend...even if he isn't your long-term love. :smile_2:

[Audrey]

Gosh, you guys are awesome! Great analogies!

Bridget and flymeaway, your posts really made me think!

Bridget, do you think it's possible to solve all this by getting a three car garage??? :grin:

flymeaway, you made a good point by bringing up the "comfort factor". So true... Some things never go out of style...

Loverboi... Um... :blush: You definitely paint a rather stimulating picture! :grin: Check your PMs... :wink_2:

Thanks guys. I appreciate hearing your opinions!
Audrey

[Karen 737]

<font color="deeppink">
Audrey, honey, I know I didn't say that much, but you could have added me to your thank yous
Sweetie, I'm pouring my heart out all about my husband, i mean I turned down three people, including a sultan, a lesbian tennis player and a bar owner, and you don't even say "aw!"
Well honey ... you aint on my christmas card list anymore, redeem yourself, by buying me something nice, Dr. Playmate has the most adorable bunnysuit, and I'd just love one!
Honey, sex and the chemistry is everything, eventually they'll balance out, with the bigger half being bigger and hornier sex!
Happy Holidays Poodles!
Karen </font color>

[Audrey]

In reply to:<hr />
redeem yourself, by buying me something nice, Dr. Playmate has the most adorable bunnysuit, and I'd just love one!



Awww Karen... Honey, I'm so sorry!!! If I get you your favourite bottle http://www.smilies-world.de/Smilies/Smilies_klein_1/smilie_einsch2.gif and can convince Dr. Playmate to get you one of those bunnysuits (and one for me...), would that make things up to you?

Hope you'll forgive me! :grin:
Audrey

[Karen 737]

<font color="deeppink">
Honey, sure, you're forgiven, just remember that li'l ole Karen is here aswell (She thinks: how could I've missed her?)
Honey, anything that'll get me through Christmas ... so sure some nice vodka (not the cheap stuff!) and one of those bunnysuits!
Kisses @ Christmas!
Karen </font color>

[Dr._Playmate]

So... taken by the bunnysuits? :grin: Ahhhh yes... Such a popular item! Ladies, if I may recommend an alternate... Both the Hot Wildcat Bustier and the Chain Bell Bikini Set are quality crowd pleasers. Hmmmm... and now that I'm thinking of it, the Flamenco Fantasy Set is great as well...

Dr. Penelope Playmate

Disclaimer: Data and information is for the humourous consumption of the audience. No one shall be entitled to claim detrimental reliance on any information provided or expressed. Violations of Section 69 are subject to criminal prosecution in a sexual court.

[Dr. Loverboi]

In reply to:<hr />
the Chain Bell Bikini Set



That's actually going to be someone's post-Christmas present from me. :grin: Besides the fact that I'm the other present. :wink_2:

[traveler]

Do I sense chemistry here ?

[Dr. Loverboi]

If you must know, traveler, I'm currently dating Brande Roderick, who was Playboy's Playmate of the Year 2001. I romanced her out from underneath Hef. Literally. :grin: The presents (including me :grin:) are for her.

[traveler]

Like SFOflyboy said somewhere recently:

I should bow to the master too http://www.stopstart.freeserve.co.uk/smilie/notworthy.gif http://www.stopstart.freeserve.co.uk/smilie/notworthy.gif

:pilot:

[Karen 737]

<font color="deeppink">
So anyway, Dr. Playmate, are we on to go shopping soon ... Stan's going to top off the credit card so we can have a "super sexy" night on the town :sexy
And that means honey, when I come and visit you, you should have a nice bunny suit for me, (I won't give you my size, I'm sure you can guess!)
Oh crap ... I need to buy a Christmas present. I forgot one of my step-kids, when i went "toy shopping" and bought Grace a nice toy that we'll say isn't for kids!
Wait a second ... Oh, Rosario, por favor, honey, listen to me for a second, ok? take Olivia and Mason to la store de los toys.
Oh lord ... kisses!
Karen
:whip</font color>

[Dr._Playmate]

<font color="purple">Loverboi... So you're the one dating Brande! I was wondering why she hasn't cum out to play lately! :grin: How's she doing? Is she still chummy with Mandy and Sandy Bentley? Those girls were attached at the hip...

Karen... I'm ready for shopping anytime you are sweetheart! Got anything specific in mind? Oh and Audrey has your bunny suit. I sent it to her. She sent me a PM about having to "redeem herself" or something of the sort... But I can get you the cutest pair of Pin-Up Girl hot pants! They'd look fantastic on you! :wink_2:

Dr. Penelope Playmate </font color>

[i]Disclaimer: Data and information is for the humourous consumption of the audience. No one shall be entitled to claim detrimental reliance on any information provided or expressed. Violations of Section 69 are subject to criminal prosecution in a sexual court.

[Dr. Loverboi]

Dr. Playmate - Brande's been pretty busy </font color> playing with me! :grin: She's doing well, although I'm wearing her out. Hahaha!!

She's still chummy with Mandy and Sandy, but she just hasn't had the time to hang out with them. The Bentley Twins are attached to Hef's hips, though. :grin:

[Paddles_up]

In reply to:<hr />
intimacy (read: awesome and frequent sex!) is very high up on my list of priorities!



Honey, you can't have a REAL and bonding relationship without sex! Without sex, it's only a friendship and you can't be happy that way! The sex SHOULD enhance the relationship, but trust and respect should be the foundation for the relationship.

[Karen 737]

<font color="deeppink">
Honey, sex should only be withheld as a bargaining tool for when things go bad, I mean ...
It's easy-squeezie. It's all about communication. You want to just sit him down and you say, "Honey, you take one more picture like that and... I'm not going to have sex with you anymore." Huh? Yeah? How about that? Ha ha.
Kisses
</font color>