My Sweet Mom!

[LUV-Southwest]

As Karen would say, I'm in a pickle! My mom and I are very very close, and I love her more than anything else in this world. The reason that I am writing to you, my airlinecrew, is because of my moving off when I graduate from college in August. I am 22, will be 23 in February, and have always lived with my parents. I have been able to go to college about 1 hour from here at night so that saved me from moving off to school. I am my mother's baby, the last one at the house. I have no other questions for when I move, except for how my mother is going to react. I have talked with her about it, and she says that she is fine, that she knows that I can't live at home forever, not that she is asking. She understands that I have high goals, and wishing me nothing less than the best. I am know that any mother will be sad when their baby leaves, but I am so worried. I don't know why. My parents are together, and have been for 31 years. They have a good marriage, but I am just scared. I don't want to upset her, but I don't want to give up on my dreams. She tells me that I have to live my own life, and if that means living in another state, that is what I need to do.

Why am I worrying so much? Does everyone go through this? I have 2 semester left before I graduate, is there anything that I can start to do know to prepare for this awful time of departure from my mother?

Thanks for your input!

Kev

[Dr. Loverboi]

In reply to:<hr />
I have 2 semester left before I graduate, is there anything that I can start to do know to prepare for this awful time of departure from my mother?



LUV-Southwest,

I moved away to go to school in Miami, but always kept in touch with my parents every week, and visited them every chance I had. I did return to Los Angeles and lived in their mansion in Holmby Hills until I earned my Master's Degree from nearby Playboy College. But I was ready to leave again after commencement.

They knew that I loved them and would always keep in touch with them, which I do. I call them every week, and I visit them and spend a lot of time with them when on vacation or business, as I travel frequently to L.A. to work and to play. :smile_2:

My personal diagnosis on your situation is that you are scared about what will happen with your parents, since you're preparing to leave the nest. You may also be scared about not being there for them, since you're in close proximity to them right now.

I also slightly detect that you're uncertain about what the world outside of the relative comfort and security of "home" holds for you.

Think about this: Your mom may have plans to turn your room into her personal space or something other than a bedroom, and she is waiting for you to leave before she does so! :grin:

Remember, your parents won't always be here on this earth. None of us will. And you will have to be prepared for that later on in life.

Maybe, if possible, for the two semesters you have until graduation, you should move to an on-campus dorm or an apartment close to campus, so you can get used to being "away" from your parents.

DISCLAIMER: None of the individuals moderating this forum are licensed professionals, and the advice given herein should be taken as friendly advice, and not professional guidance. Always seek the guidance of a licensed professional. For best results, do not dry clean. E. Pluribus Unum.

[airhostess1000]

Hey Sista!

Oh My God!!! I remember when this RICH Doctor wanted to take me away from my mother and live with him in Chicago...I was 26 and had never lived outside my parents home... It was SO out of the question...How Could I Not Live With My Mother!!!! What Would She Do Without Me??? How Could She Tolerate My Father ???
I just could not imagine moving away from my parents and bid that guy a sweet goodbye...but low and behold, I fell in love with a CAR SALESMAN about 3 years later and high tailed it out of my parents home and moved to another state!!!! This was all within a matter of months!!!

I guess my point is, when its right, its right and you'll know what to do. To my great loss, my Mother died in '99 and I'll always believe that my leaving broke her heart and caused her much stress, leading to her illness. But that's just my opinion...on the other hand, my selfish part says she and my father could have sold their home for a pretty penny and moved to my area which is safer, cheaper and way more beautiful than where they'd been living for the last 30 years.

Sounds like you've got some doubts about leaving the security of your parents home, and that alright (For a Girl!). If your Mom is giving you her blessing to follow your dreams, you need to go for it! If she's anything like my own Mom, she was fighting back the tears and putting on a happy face to say what she thought you'd want to hear.

Goood Luck! I'm rambling onn way tooo much for this site!!!!

Keep us updated as to your decision!!!

[Dr. Loverboi]

airhostess1000,

We love it when you ramble. :grin: It just shows that you speak straight from the heart. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

[skygirl2003]

Luv, It isn't about the distance. It is about always staying in touch. Stay close in your heart. A phone call frequently does wonders. Trust me. Go do your thing. She'll be Sooooo proud of you, just don't ever lose touch with your Mom. Cell Phones are amazing. :smile_2:

[LUV-Southwest]

Thank you so much for all your comments. It is true that I am very scared of what the world holds for me once I graduate. I have lived only one place, but have visited many, and I know that there is more to life than where I live. It is true that I am scared as to what will happen to my parents, not that anything will, but I have always been there to take care of everything. I know that my goals/dreams in life is what they want, I am just scared about breaking my moms heart. That is the only thing that really worries me. I know that every mom goes through this when their children leave, it is just time for me to face it.

As far as me moving to a dorm, etc, that is not possible. I work full-time during the day and commute to school at night. I gotta stay. I don't want to get an apartment because I would have to sign a lease etc, and when I graduate in August I want to be free to make my life changing decision.

Kevin

[skygirl2003]

Luv, sweetie. Just take it one day at a time. You gotta stop putting yourself through this. It will all work out the way that it is supposed to. Promise your Mom that you will always stay in touch and mean it. Sit down and have a heart to heart with her. She'll understand, trust me. The love that you two share will get you through this. I promise. Been there, done that. Life is good.

[Dr. Loverboi]

LUV-Southwest,

It is natural to have those fears and be scared. It is also natural for those who have reared and raised you to possess feelings of emptiness when you leave.

I know you will keep in contact with your mom, and that you will always be there for your parents when they need you. :smile_2:

Most of all, I know that you will make them proud of you. :smile_2: That is exactly what I have done for my parents.


DISCLAIMER: None of the individuals moderating this forum are licensed professionals, and the advice given herein should be taken as friendly advice, and not professional guidance. Always seek the guidance of a licensed professional. For best results, do not dry clean. E. Pluribus Unum.

[skygirl2003]

OMG!! (Righhhht . . . )
[As skygirl spews out the remainder of her scotch all over the keyboard . . . ]

[Dr. Loverboi]

skygirl2003,

Why spew scotch? :grin: I have my college degree and a Master's degree, and I run a successful business. I don't use drugs and I am a generous person.

What parents wouldn't be proud of a child who accomplished these things?

[skygirl2003]

[skygirl is really really trying real hard not to laugh . . . ] hm. hmm. OMG! :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin:

[Dr. Loverboi]

I know, my disclaimer does make you laugh, doesn't it? :grin:

[skygirl2003]

LAUGH?? Honey, that Disclaimer makes me wanna . . . Well . . . you know . . . :grin:

[Dr. Loverboi]

skygirl2003, I know, it makes you want to whisper sweet nothings in my ear. :grin:

[skygirl2003]

Ooooh Loverboi, if you only knew . . . :grin:

[Dr. Loverboi]

Hehehe, I know. :grin:

[skygirl2003]

THANK YOU LORD!!
[As skygirl kneels before the alter, throwing her arms, shouting, "Thank You Lord!" into the air in sheer joy . . . ]

[Dr. Loverboi]

See, I knew it. :grin: Anyway, LUV-Southwest, keep in contact with your parents, and in time, everything will be okay.

[aldinha]

I had almost forgotten the question. loverboi and skygirl you had me in stitches! but back to Luv. I know what you're going through. But like everyone has reminded you. You'll be just a phone call away. And it's not like you can never go back. Being on your own is such a great learning experience. Your Mom wants what is best for you. I'm a Mom and my baby just turned 18 and will be graduating from high school in June. I too will be faced with a similar issue. But as much as I will miss my son, if he decides to leave, I know it will be the best thing for him. (he just better not move too far away!!) :mad_2: :frown_2:

[skygirl2003]

lol
Thanks, aldinha! :cool_2:
I guess sometimes we do tend to get a little carried away! :grin:

[Dr. Loverboi]

In reply to:<hr />
loverboi and skygirl you had me in stitches!



aldinha, we're glad we can make you laugh and smile! :smile_2:

In reply to:<hr />
I guess sometimes we do tend to get a little carried away!



skygirl2003, I would like to carry you away....to a bubble bath. :grin:

[skygirl2003]

Oooooh loverboi! The things you do to me! http://www.smilies-world.de/Smilies/Smilies_klein_1/loveya.gif
I love bubble baths! I'll even whisper sweet nothings . . . :laugh:

[Reba Rae Redneck]

Yer momma is gonna be lonely when yer gone?

Tell her she's more than welcome to come take one of my 14 little monsters!

Woman mus' be outta her mind...I told Roy (he's my newest husband) that it was last call at the bar and I was closin' down shop after the 15th kiddo! And those little bastards are outta the house the second they turn 12 years old, so help me God! If theyre stayin' at home, theyre gonna be gettin' a job at Wal-Mart and paying some bills...let me tell you! One woman can't be running a trailer on her own!

Now seriously, little LUV, lemme give ya some, uh...what do they call it? Oh yeah...advertisement.

Yer movin' away don't make yer momma luv ya any less. Every bird's gotta fly. Some we just wish would fly sooner than others. But you must be a good little bird to have in the nest.

But yer gettin' ready to make some life decisions. I know, I've been there. For me, it was whether to work at the Dairy Queen or tha Piggly Wiggly. I chose the Piggly Wiggly, had an affair with the produce manager (he later became my fourth husband), and look at me now! I'm the lead night clerk at the store!

What I'm sayin' is, the only thing you'll regret are the chances not takin'. And tha good news is, with parents like yours, they'll be proud of ya no matter what. And I garuntee that she be braggin' on ya to her friend every opportunity she gets.

As for me? I'd just be happy to get my 8-year-old boy toilet trained.

"Stevie Ray, I don't care what yer daddy's boyfriend showed you...that's NOT how you play 'Doctor' in this house!"

[Dr. Loverboi]

Reba Rae Redneck, you definitely have a way with words! But you gave an excellent answer. :smile_2:

[skygirl2003]

LMAO!!!!
OMG Reba Rae!! Your are TFF!!! :grin:
I know you, I just know it! :grin:
Were you my neighbor about 10 years ago?

[Karen 737]

<font color="deeppink">
Honey, I'm so sorry I've not been here for you, but its all this emotional crap, and it's about mothers!
You have a mother who loves you. Karen Delaney lived on a farm with her con-artist mother, the only thing I liked about those years were the cute little farmobys (Reba Rae knows what I'm talking about!) who called me the farm girl with the big rack.
By the way, who let Reba Rae in here, I mean good lord poor people are giving advice ... why did I waste all that mace on Rosario!?
The thing is, is it doesn't matter what relation or friend it is, when you move away, you can still chat to her on the phone, when I make a new best friend I call them every 5 minutes, as Skygirl2003 knows!
Now, you are moving on with your life you need to begin phasing life in and Mom out. Yeah, you know, it's like it says in the Bible. "When you've got the car, who needs the Ma?"
Kisses
</font color>

[skygirl2003]

She's not kidding. We chat for HOURS ! Such good advice Karen gives!! She a peach! And a strawberry! And a Chocolate Covered Strawberry at that! Love ya girl! Kisses.

[Dr._Playmate]

<font color="purple">LUV... I left home at 14 to make porn with Hef. Believe me, if my mother survived discovering that and still loves me (though disapproves of my easy cum easy go lifestyle...) then you have nothing to worry about. You seem to have a good head on your shoulders. You'll be just fine...

Best of luck,
Dr. Penny Playmate </font color>

[i]Disclaimer: Data and information is for the humourous consumption of the audience. No one shall be entitled to claim detrimental reliance on any information provided or expressed. Violations of Section 69 are subject to criminal prosecution in a sexual court.

[skygirl2003]

Karen, honey, it's been 6 minutes. Why have I not heard from you?? :frown_2: (Never mind. Rosario is probably filling your bath again. ) And Reba?? My Lord! You'd think she'd be out fetchin' a chicken or somethin'! :laugh:
Champagne breakfast tomorrow morning again, yes?

[LUV-Southwest]

Thanks to everyone that has posted so far. You either make me smile, or start to tear up thinking about leaving my mother. Everyone is making very good points. I test the waters with my mother often, about moving away, and she has told me time after time that I have to live my own life, and that she knows that I can't live here forever. I just know that it will be one of the hardest things that I ever do in my lifetime. It will really hurt both me and her when I move, but this is something that I have worked very hard for, and have dreamed of for so long. I will accomplish my dream/goal in life, no matter what. I have to lead my own life, and if that means living in PDX, SEA, or BWI, or any other place, then so be it. I also look at it this way, since I will be working for the airlines (SWA), then I will be able to fly home for free, and not have to worry about expenses coming home, etc.

It will all work out!

Kev

[Dr. Loverboi]

That's the spirit! :smile_2: Use the positives that will result from your moving away to your benefit.

[skygirl2003]

You're not leaving your Mom, Luv. You're meeting the real you! It will all work out! You'll see. :smile_2:

[Dr. Loverboi]

In reply to:<hr />
And Reba?? My Lord! You'd think she'd be out fetchin' a chicken or somethin'!



If she's feeding the multitude of children she has at the house, she had better "fetch" more than just one chicken! :grin: Col. Sanders may have to be called in on this one.

[skygirl2003]

Loverboi, I think she's gonna have to wear her Daisy Dukes and seduce Mr. Perdue's son! :grin:

[Dr. Loverboi]

Since she works at Piggly Wiggly, and has ready access to all the chicken she needs, she won't really have to do that.

Unless she wants Mr. Perdue's son to be her next husband.

Then she'll need to wear the Daisy Dukes and give him, ummmm, ready access </font color> to her.

[skygirl2003]

Loverboi, Mr. Perdue's son is already taken. Rumor has it that Reba Rae is playing pool with his nephew. Her next catch! Husband # what, Reba Rae? Y'all jest better keep yer mitts off Zane down the road. He be taken! I promised 'em a trip to the dentist. Okay . . . dentist/Vet.

[skygirl2003]

Well, Loverboi, It was 10 years ago. He was 72 years old and had the hots for me. He only had one tooth. I promised him that I would take him to the dentist, who was also a Veternarian. I thought we'd kill two birds with one stone - he gets new teeth and at the same time, be able to howl at the moon. Get it now? :grin:

[Dr. Loverboi]

I asked this question, LOL, and I know I shouldn't have.

[skygirl2003]

Well you did, and I told ya! He never got his teeth fixed by the way, from what I hear. But every once in a while, my dog acts up because she hears howling in the distance . . . wonder why?? :laugh:

[Dr. Loverboi]

Howling in the distance....or right outside the window? :grin:

[skygirl2003]

OMG

No wonder she tried to go through the window! Was that YOU ? All you had to do was knock, my Love God, you. :grin:

[Dr. Loverboi]

No, that wasn't me. I don't howl.

I actually meant to ask whether or not she heard howling from inside YOUR </font color> window! :grin:

[skygirl2003]

Ahhh. Yes, Quite possibly . . . That wasn't you???? :confus_2:

[Dr. Loverboi]

Nope.

[skygirl2003]

DAMN! I gotta quit drinking . . . :frown_2:

[flymeaway]

Does she have a good therapeutic and time-consuming hobby? When I left, my mom's garden literally quadrupled in size - and let me tell you it was already big. When my brother left 6 years later, she added koi ponds and built a potting shed/greenhouse. Good thing they had no more kids...she'd probably be out digging a pool by hand.

The truth of it is that her lifestyle will go through a major change...she'll go from primarily being a mom on a day to day basis...to primarily being a wife on a day to day basis. *Hopefully* she'll also remember that she had a life before kids, too, and that it was a good and individually rewarding one. She can have that again, and that's a good thing for her. :smile_2: It really took my mom a long time to get to that point - but I think she's probably happier now than she's ever been. Be supportive and encourage her to get out and do the things that she's put off while taking care of you - call often, especially at first, but not ALL the time. This is a natural transition, and with time she will adjust.

(And congrats on your graduation!) :grin:

[Reba Rae Redneck]

Loverboi, sweetcheeks, is that YOU??? :shocked:

Are you the same Loverboi who used to come visit me during my pole-swingin', tiddie-dancin' days?

OOOO WEEEEE! You were my fav-o-rite customer! Ya knew how to treat a womun right! I still have those little nipple tassles ya gave ta me!

But listen up, sweetcheeks...this body don't do no more of those skintight thingies. Not since the Cellulite Fairy paid her visit ta me. Now it just looks like someone spread that cottage cheese stuff on the back of my legs.

That's whut havin' 14 little rugrats will do to ya. :crazy:

Speakin' of rugrats...where'd my oldest son go? He's supposeda be babysittin' fer me?

"Dale Earnheart Jr., ya better get yer butt back in this trailer and change yer little sissy's diaper! Otherwise I'm cutting off yer smokes fer a week!"

[Reba Rae Redneck]

Flymeaway, youza smart one, ain't cha?

Ya kinda remind me of my fifth husband. He wuz the smartest of 'em all...had his GED and everthing! :smile_2:

[flymeaway]

Hey Reba Rae...

Is that the hubby that you found out was your first cousin by the aunt that ran off with your 3rd husband? I think he's my neighbor here in Tennessee...ugly as sin but damn fine with a gas grill and fresh-kilt possum...

[Dr. Loverboi]

If you're the same Reba Rae who danced at the clubs near Westwood in Los Angeles, yes, I remember you! :cool_2:

Thanks for the compliment, baby. :smile_2: You are most definitely a loving lady, and you know how to treat your men.

Hang on to those tassels, because I got them for completing a course at Playboy College (Entertainment 201 - Surviving A Voracious Lap Dance), and they're no longer given out as trinkets. :grin:

[Karen 737]

<font color="deeppink">
Hiya Poodles!
These past two weeks have been hell for me!
I never use my diary, after the first few days of the new year when I write all the events down, and I forgot to get Stan picked up from the hospital after having something or other removed or put in ...
And then, I lost my garter phone, which has all my websites and phone numbers!
And then I got all depressed because the pharmacist was shut so I had to trapse all the way to Queens(!) I had to shop out of a bin with a bunch of mall-walking blue-hairs in "I Love Grandma" t-shirts, I still feel ill!
And LUV, I can't help you, I hate my family and the family of my previous 3 husbands!
Kisses
</font color>

[skygirl2003]

Karen Dahling! I am so sorry about your hecticness. No wonder I haven't heard from you! Everytime the phone rang ,(for the past few weeks) I was hoping it was you! I was so depressed, I'm (hic) up to 2 bottles a day! We must do lunch. We have some catching up to do! Call me. Kisses.

[Karen 737]

<font color="deeppink">
Honey this had better be important I was home reading to my kids Ha ha ha, just kiddin'!
How are you poodle?
I've just had such a hectic few weeks, and t's gone so slowly, I'm waiting for the NDA to legally put some new drugs on the market for me to test drive!
Honey, I only have a 4-hour lunch, but I should be able to squeeze ya in somewhere!
Kisses
</font color>