Calling All Docs . . .

[skygirl2003]

Where have you all been?? I mean, Loverboi managed to take two minutes out of his time to respond, Karen737 managed to pause her facial and pedicure long enough to respond to posts (Karen, did you remember to pick Stan up at the hospital?),
and even Dr. Playmate lost her "Bunny Ears" long enough to respond to a bleeding heart.
Doctor "Know It All", too busy still trying to figure out, "E=mc2"?
Reba Rae, Have you not seen the movie, "The Burning Bed"?
Dr. talkto_da hand, hand a little busy these days?

Surely you can all take a little time away from Maui, Barbados, Jamaica, Cancun, Puerto Vallarta, Caba San Lucas. Whatever!

[as skygirl swears to never seek professional counciling . . . ]

[Reba Rae Redneck]

Aww, skygal, ya caught me, darlin'. Itz been hell at the trailer park tha past couple weeks. We had a tornada' cum through...now my husband is missin' five of his huntin' dogs, and I'm missin' two of my kids! The trailer is all torn up, and our new shag carpet we just put in is ruined!

I guess we're gonna have to go back to Wal-Mart to redecorate.

Tommy Lee! I told you to leave your daddy's "Hustler" collection ALONE!! Now put that back under the bed! </font color>

Anyways, Skygal...what's the latest and greatest problem I can fix fer ya?

[skygirl2003]

Sorry to hear about your mishaps, Reba.
No crisis here. Just wondering where the hell all the so-called docs were.
Hey - if you can't find your hubby, get a new one! :laugh:
As far as your missing rugrats, there's a couple of dollars more to add to your new shag carpeting. Does welfare cover that?? :confus_2:

[Karen 737]

<font color="deeppink">
Honey, it's not that I don't love you anymore, I've just been so busy with richer more exciting people!
Stan is now out of hospital, but he's going up to court, because they think he hasn't been paying his taxes, and the FAA has revoked Karen Air's AOC, so I'm really stressed, so I've been busy relaxing in the lodge!
But, I'll be back soon.
Kisses </font color>

[Doc._K_N_Owitall]

and your question would be ?

:confus_2:

[skygirl2003]

My QUESTION ?? No wonder there are so many screwed up people in this world!! Try shutting off "The Simpsons", and trading in your doodle pad for a crash course in, "Psychology 101."! GAWD!! :confus_2:
[as skygirl double-swears to never, ever seek counseling . . . ]

[Studley]

Skygirl, I think you should lie down on Doc's couch, and get these emotions out into the open. LOL :grin:

[skygirl2003]

LMAO
That's exactly what he wants, Studley! :grin:
Nah. I like harrassing him better. :laugh:

[Studley]

In reply to:<hr />
I like harrassing him better.



Yeah, but you don't know if he likes that even better than you being on the couch. :shocked:

[skygirl2003]

Ahhh, I see, Studley. He intentionally angers me to the point where I crack up and have no choice but to take to the couch . . . I see . . .
No way in Hell! :grin:

[Studley]

No - He may just like the fact that you're harassing him. LOL :grin:

[Doc._K_N_Owitall]

and, are you close to formulating one yet ?

[skygirl2003]

(I see what you mean, Studley . . . )
Yeah, I'm close, Doc. You give me your formula to E=mc2, and I'll give you mine! :grin:

[EXASaab]

In reply to:<hr />
Yeah, I'm close, Doc. You give me your formula to E=mc2, and I'll give you mine!



Hey since we are giving out formula's.. how's about you giving me the formula that makes your phone ring girl! :grin:

[skygirl2003]

Oh, EXA, sweetie. My phone lines are "Tapped". If you were to call, then where would we be? :grin:

[Doc._K_N_Owitall]

Allright !

I'll give you my formula,

If you promise to swallow !

:blush:

(and call me in the morning).

[skygirl2003]

:shocked: I knew it! I just knew it !!
Fine. But only if I can share a little, first . . . :shocked:
(I'll call you, alright!)
[as skygirl makes a note to totally avoid "the couch" . . . )

[Karen 737]

<font color="deeppink">
Honey, I think you're missing the bigger picture here, me!
I mean Stan is my life, my world! And if he goes to prison what would I do? I don't get emotional that often, but it means a lot to me, I mean Stan is my world and I realised that when I went into the fur vault this morning and was reminded of where I got some of them, on my back in Iraq, on my knees in Belize, on my ass in Madras etc.
I'd miss him and my Boeings if they sent him to prison and closed down KarenAir. I mean sure we did smuggle in Rosario's family to maintain the airplanes, but is that illegal?
Kisses </font color>

[Karen 737]

<font color="deeppink">
And Doc, where the hell are my husband's pills?
I asked for them yesterday, but I don't see a truck full of pills outside my door!
I'm undermedicated and stressed!
HELP ME! </font color>

[skygirl2003]

Oh Karen, my dear, dear friend. But I must remind you, you did compare me to your "richer and more exciting" friends. You hurt my feelings. :frown_2:
Well, anyway, I know some really crooked - I mean - GOOD lawyers. I think we can help Stan. (Just be sure to clean out his "secret vault" in his study. You know, that "secret wall".) Don't worry about Rosario, I have good friends at the INS, and they owe me. Just relax, honey. Call me. We'll do lunch.

PS Don't count on the Doc for the pills. I am sure he has already devoured them for our "couch session". :grin:

[EXASaab]

In reply to:<hr />
I am sure he has already devoured them for our "couch session".




Viagra?
:grin:

[skygirl2003]

LOL EXA!
Viagra, and then some . . . :grin:
Don't worry, Karen, I won't expose your drug habit - I mean - your medical condition. :crazy:

[Karen 737]

<font color="deeppink">
Oh honey, you always know how to make me feel better ... one second ... Mason, drop those pies, you know the deal no dessert until we can see your chin ... anyway I'm coping well and trying to keep Rosario, her family and KarenAir going.
If you give me the telephone number for the lawyers when we go for the salt scrub at Yolande's tommorow ... one minute, Rosario the school says the girl needs attention give her a hug ...
Anyway, see you tommorow poodle!
Kisses </font color>

[Doc._K_N_Owitall]

Okay now, the formula, here it is.
Be sure two limit your intake to the prescribed amount.
And when you notice any kind of side effect -&gt; disconnect from the internet.
If you can’t find any of the exact ingredients be very careful with your substitutions.

2 (LGI x 256/3.14 + BR’) x 7.32 Alfa proton accelerator mix (+ 1/8 high-grade BP motor oil + 125 grams Hawaiian sugar cane). Add to 1 litre water. Boil for 15 minutes. Add 3 green Spanish olives, 4 grams of Texas hot sauce. Place in freezer overnight. Crack 2, corn fed only, free range chicken eggs in bowl. Sneak into a male locker-room and steal a sweaty T-shirt. Wring that T-shirt until a minimum of 5 drops are recovered. Add to eggs. Buy a bottle of Johnny Walker Blue label at the airport tax-free shop. Finely chop a green union and 3 cherry tomatoes, add to eggs and stir. Now, 1 scoop of chunky monkey ice cream and one spoonful of peanutty peanut butter. Add these to the mixture you took out of the freezer and brought back to room temperature. Then add one cup of Nyquil. Put teaspoons of sunflower oil in a fairly deep fry pan. When hot first add water/ice-cream mixture. Wait 2 minutes then add the egg mixture. Put all the tools and bowls you used in the dishwasher. Turn the heat under the fry pan off. Put on a red pointy party hat. Strip to your underwear, throw the contents in the fry pan in the trash and drink the bottle of blue label. Remember it is essential to swallow.

[skygirl2003]

You are welcome dahling. I am glad you feel better. I understand that your appointment with the croo- I mean very reputable lawyers is tomorrow. You shouldn't have any problems. The more Stan lies, the more he'll be understood. Don't forget to remind him.
The salt scrub was marvelous! But it would have been more relaxing without those brats - I mean kids of yours. Can we leave them home next time? I mean, the next time Rosario needs a day off, tell her we're too busy! (You know, you really need to discipline those kids.)
We are still going to Tifanny's tomorrow, yes?

[skygirl2003]

That's disgusting! You really are driving me to the couch, aren't you?
[as skygirl OD's on the Doc's formula . . . (Somebody pump her stomach!!)]

[Karen 737]

<font color="deeppink">
Hey Poodle!
Stan is going into court tommorow. Thanks for suggesting those croo... i mean lawyers. They're saving us a hell of a lot!
Sorry about the kids at the salt scrub! Remember honey, they ain't mine, they came out of Stan's ex, what was her name? ... "send the kids to see that bitch ... Kathy" Kathy!
Rosario can bust her ass looking after them next time we go out and yes we're on for Tiffany's, but I really can't keep 30 El Salvadorean immigrants in my basement anymore!
You got space?
Kisses </font color>

[skygirl2003]

Ah honey, don't worry about it. Glad Stan is in good hands. They win all their cases, the worst of the worst. What's up with Kathy the bitch having an excuse everytime it's her turn to have the kids? You know, Stan needs to grow some balls - I mean, learn to be more forceful with her. I just feel sorry for the little one.

As for the 30 El Salvadoreans, I'll take them. I'll put them to work in my sweat sho- I mean factories. They'll feel right at home. So Tiffany's it is. Don't forget to send the limo. The last time, I was picked up by Yellow Cab! Mercy, it was awful! Guess you took one too many pills that day!

[Karen 737]

<font color="deeppink">
Kathy is completely the opposite of me, you know she likes kids (!) she critices the way I handle the family and Rosario (what that's all about?) and she (sorry this bits the hardest,) she likes to take taxis and the subway, saying its very NY, saying my limos take up too much money!
The El Salvadoreans have a job, I told you they maintain the planes at Karen Air. That looks like its going down the tubes. I mean, we had the best uniforms, interiors and style in the sky, but because our planes aren't up to FAA standards (honey, what's that all about!). Not up to FAA standards, they have no taste, they must buy their clothes from the place Rosario does, Wal Mart (can someone explain?)
Speaking of Rosario, I'm in her room. Stan's on the herbal viagra again and ... well skygirl honey imagine Stan naked and horny!
kisses
</font color>

[skygirl2003]

UGH! A limo over a taxi! I think I'm going to faint. . .
You know honey, I did overhear Kathy talking to a friend of hers outside of Macy's (What's up with that?), saying that leaving the kids with you would put a damper on your oh so busy schedule. I think that's why she does it.

Don't worry about KarenAir. I told you, honey, I have connections. Remember? Connections? FAA?

As for the El Salvadoreans, They can work 13 hours at KarenAir then go straight to the sweat sho- I mean factories for another 13 hours, everyday. That way you don't have to worry about them in your basement.

And - Stan. You'd better lock the door on Rosario's door. Stan naked. Nightmares! No. No.

And Walmart? What's that? Is that a place that sells walls or something?

[Karen 737]

<font color="deeppink">
Oh my god, Stan's been sent to prison!
Even if, at this very moment, his cellmate is tattooing "Property of Javier" on Stan's fat, wide ass with a hot ballpoint, I'm Stanley Walker's bitch!
Oh lord, how could this've happened? How could he go to jail? how could he wear bright orange with white shoes?
Help me poodles!
Kisses
</font color>

[skygirl2003]

Karen, honey, it's ok. I was told beforehand that they would do this. It is only to buy time for Stan. His financials are such a disaster, they need time. They just have to make it look good. That all.

[Karen 737]

<font color="deeppink">
Honey, what am I going to do until the law suit is over.
Sure, my husband is an enormous bulldozer of a man who has to be hit with a stun gun before he can be weighed or medicated. But when I said "I do" to Stan Walker and his attorneys... I meant that to be forever.
Now, I'm gonna wait for my man to get sprung because, let's face it, Stanley Walker may not be a handsome man and he may not be a charming man...
Kisses
</font color>

[skygirl2003]

In reply to:<hr />
Honey, what am I going to do until the law suit is over.



Karen, Honey, You shop 'til you drop! Don't worry, I'll go with you every day.
You are feeling too damned guilty! Being one of your best friends, you must trust me. What you saw in his vault was not very pretty, now was it?? Don't worry, Stan will make new friends, and learn things he didn't even know was in the English language! Sometimes new lessons are good.

And I agree, he is not handsome nor charming, nor ". . . " (bleieve me, I know!), but let's just take it one day at a time! I'm hungry. Call me, we'll go shopping, then out for a night on the town, then chill. I got your pills.
Rosario already has specific instructions.

[Karen 737]

<font color="deeppink">
Oh Skygirl honey, I love ya!
I just talked to Stan.
He had a good day in prison today.
He and a convicted junk bond trader smuggled a glazed ham out of the kitchen.
So, honey, if you want to leave, I know you've got things to do.
I mean, there's fashion mistakes to be made, and...it's probably happy hour at some gay bar. Oh, and also--
Why don't you stay for breakfast, don't go it's fun at my place. For breakfast this morning we're serving French toast. The masseur comes at 2:00. And the movie in the media room this afternoon is soft-core porn for women.
Kisses
</font color>

[skygirl2003]

What are best friends for, Karen, honey!
So funny about the glazed ham! It was Winston Hawthorne III I am sure. I slept with him. His bonds were "Junk" alright! Tell Stan that he is better off with R.G., the Racketeer. He'll know who I mean. Not exactly a "10" but was duable!
I'll stay for the French Toast, as long as it's with lemon zest and almond essence. You know that's how I like it!
Oh, will the masseur be that gorgeous James, again? I think I'll meet him at our favorite Gay Bar, again. I just have to keep my distance, or he won't get picked up!
The movie sounds great! Just what we need.
Could you pour me another drink, dahling?

[Karen 737]

<font color="deeppink">
It's been really rough on him. He lives for that one phone call to the house every day at noon. If it weren't for that, I don't think he could go on.
Oh honey, I really miss Stan's chubby little fingers.
I really miss him, if it wasn't for Rosario at home, and Skygirl tommorow I don't know what I'd do!
Kisses
</font color>

[skygirl2003]

Karen, honey. Now I am speaking as your best friend when I say this, ok? Stop worrying about Stan and his chubby little fingers! He is putting a damper on all my - I mean -our fun! He is in good hands. And I mean that literally! I have sent him a couple of different attorneys. (Don't tell anybody, but they are the ones who saved Bill Clinton from being impeached)
What you need is more scrubs, shopping, more massages, more scrubs, more drinks, more pills, more shopping and to paint the town red. Just like we used to.
Call me. I just found this great place . . .
AND, btw, where in the HELL are the supposedly "Therapists" on this damn board?? My poor friend Karen is going through a crisis, her heart bleeding. Will somebody please give her her money's worth?? :mad_2: GAWD!!

[Dr. Loverboi]

AND, btw, where in the HELL are the supposedly "Therapists" on this damn board??



Just to let you in on a secret: Karen uses her "problems" (which are not really problems) to distract others, and take their minds off their problems, as she helps to give advice on them. Since you're not a "therapist", you weren't aware of her methodologies.

[Doc._K_N_Owitall]

Karen knows she’s welcome on “the couch” anytime.
She might not admit it, but it wouldn’t be her first time.
She’s not that innocent.
Hell, to date she’s the only ‘lady’ who’s been able to out-drink me.

[Karen 737]

<font color="deeppink">
Hey Poodles!
Well, I'm finally going to get a chance to vent about my life, I'm going to be on Jay Leno tonight 11:35/10:35 on NBC.
And Loverboi, these are genuine bad problems, I mean I know we have our differences, you say "potato" I say "Vodka" but I need you all!
Honey, if we're still up for shopping! I'm going to the mall and Taco Bell to see a day in the life of Rosario so I'm going under my alias Anastasia Beaverhausen. Why don't you come, it'll be fun to see poor people! These are the people I only otherwise see when they jump in front of my limo when we drive through Queens!
Then we can go off to the real places!
I'm going for the dreaded jugal visit tommorow afternoon, so I'll talk then!
Kisses

[skygirl2003]

Karen, honey, where have you been?? This snow is just AWFUL! I even had a nightmare that your limo, being white, was buried in all this snow, and your heel broke off trying to get to my front door! Manhattan is pretty much cleared now. I need to go shopping!!! Anywhere! I'll even shine Rosario's shoes that she just purchased from Walmart! (UGH! The thought on it . . . :crazy:) Call me! I need a drink . . .

[Karen 737]

<font color="deeppink">
You know... there is something I've been putting off for a long time. And I've avoided it because... well, frankly, it scares me a little. I'm supposed to have a conjugal visit with Stan.
And Skygirl honey I know you've got your marathon next week, but this is tough, it's easy for you to say honey. All you gotta do is run a lousy marathon. Stan weighs 5,000 pounds. It's 26 miles just circling him! You know what I mean ...
Well hey! I'm gonna boink my fat husband in prison!
Skygirl let's see a film after we go shopping, mmm, how 'bout something French, like with two girls kissing?
Kisses

[skygirl2003]

Oh Karen! Sex with Stan. And in prison of all places! AWFUL! Just awful! I hope he doesn't crush you like the last time! I bailed out of the Marathon. Of course the sponsers will be out 1.4 million dollars, and the Olympics will be out of the question, but what the hell. I'll just take it out of my Swiss bank account. You know I will always be there for you. But, honey, there is no way I will do Stan. Oh God No! I will wait in the limo in the parking lot. By then we will definitly go see that French flick. How does, " Deux femmes dans une serrure de lèvre" sound? By then, you'll forget all about that God awful encounter with Stan. Call me. I'll just be making phone calls, cancelling other engagements.

[skygirl2003]

Karen, Dahling, I know I am your best friend, but, I only have a law degree. I don't have my PHD yet. You would think that talkto dahand or K.N. Owitall would earn their status. It's no wonder we drink so much . . .
Call me. Got some new videos for your private home theater! :laugh:

[Doc._K_N_Owitall]

Well to be honest, I am curious how that conjugal visit went.

Karen, you lush, care to talk to daddy ?

[Karen 737]

<font color="deeppink">
OK Doc ... listen to me, I'm his bitch!
Ok? Is that what you want to hear? I'm Stanley Walker's bitch!
And I'm his one and only, just in case you pervs get any ideas during those lonely nights at lockdown -- yeah Doc, I saw you down there the other day chatting with one of the inmates (Skygirl he looked like the guy with the huge bulge in the CK briefs and the pilot hat we saw at La Guardia).
And, the funniest thing happened, when I started the gunfire on Rosario for smuggling out some more chickens, I noticed I had the same gun as the prison guard! Ha Ha! Small World, Small World!
I'm coping well, especially with Skygirl, you know it's wierd to come back to one of the biggest apartments in Manhattan with 35 servants and 2 awful stepkids.
Kisses

[skygirl2003]

Oh Karen, honey! Didn't I tell you that Doc. K.N. was a big time Perv! Mercy! Oh my - wait, was that the Doc with that huge bulge in his CK's that was obviously HUNG LIKE A HORSE?? Oh my. I just love our "Briefs or Boxers" game! I didn't see his face. I was too busy popping my eyeballs back into their sockets!
Karen, dahling, would you mind terribly if I give you a rain check for tonight? I know we have dinner plans and another flick at the St. Regis Manhattan. I will even treat you to a salt scrub, that you enjoy so much. I will make it up to you. I promise. I just have this sudden desire to see a "Therapist", if you know what I mean.

As your best friend I have always reminded you that you are too soft on Rosario. You let her get away with murder! Personally, I would cancel that new supply of Silk aprons that you ordered for her. Chickens! What nerve.
How are you going to smuggle that gun back into the prison? Remember that engraving gun that one of your servants stole - I mean bought me? I can use it to engrave new numbers on the gun! Oh Karen, honey, I must run. I am feeling a little flush. Take my drink, please. Call me, dahling.

[Dr._Playmate]

Karen, you lush, care to talk to daddy ?



<font color="purple">Care to extend that invitation to other board members, Doc? I'd cum sit on your couch baby! Maybe I could teach you a thing or two... :wink_2: :grin:

Penny

[Dr. Loverboi]

Maybe I could teach you a thing or two... :wink_2: :grin:



I'm sure you could teach him. :grin:

[Doc._K_N_Owitall]

I was just very curious about Karen’s description of her conjugal visit in prison.
Lots of cold hard concrete and steel around. Then a whole bunch of unshaven strong men with piercing looks in their eye. Staring her down and undressing her in their minds. As she walks down the corridor she could probably envision herself being pushed up against a hard wall and being ravished by several very hungry and strong muscle types.
I was just curious if she found it a thrill or more like a chore, and if she wanted to talk about it.
That’s what I do, I listen to peoples emotions and experiences.

But if you feel the need to teach, Penelope, by all means, tell me what’s on your mind.

[Dr. Loverboi]

That conjugal visit scenario sounds like a scene from one of the "class project" films I made at Playboy College, "La Jeune Épouse Chaud Du Surveillant" ("The Warden's Hot Young Wife"). I think that is the correct translation.

Hef said we had to make a French film. :cool_2: :grin:

[Karen 737]

<font color="deeppink">
I don't know what it is. Everywhere I go, I see Stan. Hmm. In the thick ankles of a bakery clerk. In the sagging breasts of a bus driver. Even in the eyes of a fat baby.
Well ... You know what, La Jeune Épouse Chaud Du Surveillant? That sounds swell, count me in. Hey, I'll even bring some of my old 45s. Ooh, and maybe my new .38. Then we can go out for our girl's night out in Brooklyn
Kisses

[skygirl2003]

Karen, honey, you must stop thinking of Stan! The brats - I mean Stan's kids are being taken care of with Rosario. You sound so depressed. So, Loverboi's flick and a night on the town. You need a fix, honey, I have some great ideas. You'll forget about Stan in no time! Call me. You sound suicidal. You know I will always be there for you. Oh, by the way, the crook - I mean, lawyers say they have plans for Stan. Call me. Geez. Now I need a drink . . .

[Karen 737]

<font color="deeppink">
Oh Ooh ... Whew. That is one smooth-talking shower head you have Skygril I feel so much better.
I am. It's been super cool.
Yeah, it's all braiding each other's hair, pillow fights, comparing breast size. Then your roommate comes home, and the fun stops.
For the last time, don't worry I'm fine!
It's a temporary cash flow problem. Now get out of my limo, Doc. And take your little circus poodles with you.
Kisses

Oh, look at the time. I gotta fly.

[skygirl2003]

Oh Karen, honey, how many times did I suggest the "shower head". You must listen to me more often, dahling. Why do you think that I always wear a smile? Certainly not because of "that" prison incident! I need a salt scrub. We on for tonight? Doc K.N. must stop sneaking into your limo. Doesn't he know that his heavy breathing is a dead giveaway!! He is such a PERV! Call me. I'll be having my usual pedicure.

[Karen 737]

<font color="deeppink">
Honey, you know that there's nothing that I would enjoy more than spending some time with you at the spa having a massage from that lovely Cuban guy Carlos. You know, I really should get him something. Maybe the rest of his family from cuba!?
But honey, I can't. The gargoyle's here! Yes Stan's mother has flown in with her evil flying monkeys (ok the crew from her private jet, but I know all about you flight-attendant types! I was on the Bunnyjet only 3 weeks ago with Doc Playmate). She's visiting Stan in prison and insists on staying and do see the kids.
So, I got Rosario to bake her a small cake to say "Hi" so she wouldn't be breathing down my neck, but the fat one when straight for the bowl as usual.
Kisses Honey!
No hard feelings?

[Dr. Loverboi]

That was a really fun flight, wasn't it, Karen? :grin: :wink_2:

[skygirl2003]

AHHHH! Listen to Loverboi! Carving some more notches! :laugh:
Karen, dahling. No personal feelings. Just one question - Is she still complaining and crying about the house landing on her sister?
Call me when she's gone. You know we don't get along. Meanwhile, Karen, dahling, I am going to visit a certain, "Carlos". Sometimes this life tends to get rather a bit boring. Call me. We can laugh our way through rather outragious "breaks". Please, dahling, do not get tempted to use your, well, you know, that certain thing that you accidently took from your prison visit. When she's gone, I have the perfect, "vacation" . . . Call me.

[Karen 737]

<font color="deeppink">
Oh honey I'm so happy!
The crooked lawyers really did help.
Stan is out of prison and is back with me at home.
Stan's mother has flown back to Tulsa.
The kids have gone on a spring break camp.
But, I'm still guilty about the little affair between me and Carlos. I mean honey, it would break his already bypassed heart!
I really dont know what to do!?
Luckily my boobs are like arms, one was welcoming Stan and the other was signalling Carlos out of the house!
I need some help, some Botox and some more of my new Latin lover.
Kisses

[skygirl2003]

Karen, Dahling! I am so sorry to hear that Stan passed away. I did warned you, dahling, that that fat tub of lard would not be able to handle your wild sex, especially after his operation! Dahling, I am so sorry I could not be there for you. When Stan got out of the hospital, I just figured that you would be preoccupied with him, so Carlos and I took a trip around the world. So sorry dahling that we hijacked Karen Air for our little trip. I guess it is too late to salvage it. If it is of any consolation to you, Carlos was everything you said he was! OVER AND OVER AND OVER again. My lord!
Now, I have tried everything to get you out of that limo. I even housed the Salvadorians in my basement! God they are loud. Always asking for rice and beans everyday. Isn't every three days enough feeding?
Dahling, you can stay in my Penthouse. I will even share Carlos and the pool boy! Call me, from a phone booth, of course.

[NWAFrontliner]

I strayed into this world by accident.... Think I'll make my escape!!!!!!! :crazy: :crazy:

[skygirl2003]

LMAO NWA!! Bring a drink down from The Bar (I'll have a scotch - make it a double), and have a seat! :grin:

[NWAFrontliner]

Forget the drink......... I think everyone here has had a few too many already!!! :crazy: I think I'll sit down and put on my seat belt........ :shocked:

[EXASaab]

I think I'll sit down and put on my seat belt........



Hey folks, welcome aboard, we are expecting a bumpy ride so we're gonna turn OFF the seat belt sign. Feel free to move about the forum as you wish, we would like to remind you however that while seated in the forum you may miss out on all the fun. SO stand up jump around and tell us all your problems. We do preciate ya business today and hope to see ya again on another AirlineCrew.Net Forum.


:grin:

[NWAFrontliner]

In order to survive here, I think I'd have to metamorphis into something on the level of the weird characters that inhabit this realm. Any suggestions??? And no, I couldn't be Anne Landers!!! :mad_2:

[skygirl2003]

Oh NWA - SUBMISSION. The men don't stand a chance here. Just ask any of the girls. :grin:

[NWAFrontliner]

My only problem with that is (I'm searching for truth here) whether or not some of the people here are really female that profess to be so. :tongue_2: :tongue_2: :tongue_2: Some of the beloved characters here could be something else... :grin: :blush: :blush:

[skygirl2003]

Maybe, NWA. However, they are honest, and can't help but love them. I am a female. The ones "batting for the other side" are the best people in the world. Damn I wish I were batting on their side. Well, can't complain. They are the BEST.!

[NWAFrontliner]

On the other hand, Doc. K. N. Owitall could be female. If so, how could "she" help me with a male problem??? And, Skygirl, it's a good thing you aren't batting for the other side... You don't know what it's like walking around with a baseball bat!!! :shocked:

[Doc._K_N_Owitall]

... burb ... ehh ! .. sorry dude, all male here !
(I think ...)

[Doc._K_N_Owitall]

.. yup, I checked. .. still male !

[skygirl2003]

As long as you are a male, you are safe. A Female - watch out. Dr. K.N. He is a Perv! :ooo:

[NWAFrontliner]

A Female - watch out. Dr. K.N. He is a Perv! :ooo:


Does he really look like his picture? Wow, I'm certainly glad he's not after me!!! If any of you young ladies see a cartoon character checking inside his trench coat to see if he's actually male or not, you might want to make your escape and PM me for help!!! :grin: :grin: :grin:

[Karen 737]

<font color="deeppink">
Yeah, I am fine. It's just how you play all of those Jennifer Lopez songs. Stan always puts them on whenever we made love. Or as I liked to call it, being trapped under rubble.
No, honey. That's all behind us. I don't even think about that anymore. Ooh. Look, I got a little spot on my jacket. Out, damned spot. Filthy whore! I'm sorry, Stan, I almost cheated on you! You know, I could probably take this to the dry cleaners.
Oh my God, taking things to the cleaners, its like Stan . . . :frown_2:

[Paddles_up]

Karen dear...how did you enjoy sharing a flat with Madonna?

[Karen 737]

<font color="deeppink">
Oh poodle, you aint kissed till you kisse dMadonna!
I mean I really do admire the fact that Madonna bless her, decided to recreate our drunken evenings with Britney Spears on stage at the MTV music awards.
I love her, as much as I love Skygirl, as soon as shes back from saving KarenAir, she can vent her views, as much as the amount of noise she vents when some of her pilot friends come round ... good lord!

[skygirl2003]

Karen, dahling! KarenAir is looking mahvelous. And the pilots . . . oh my - I really need to stop smoking these litte cigars. Take too much wind out of me! I don't believe that I can do both your pilots and smoking cigars at the same time! Oh honey, It is almost like you and your beloved deceased Stan. One blow and you are out of breath! Lord. I need a salt scrub. You will join me, no dahling?
Call me.

[Karen 737]

<font color="deeppink">
Well, deal me in. I've got a lifetime membership to the losers club. Hm-mm. I've been dumped by one-ton billionaires, heads of state, and every member of Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young, but I'm not naming names. What's so great about another person, huh? All they do is manhandle your boobs and eat all the ham.
Oh I know its bitter, but until you're married, you dont realise how much you miss that manhandling when they're gone.
Definately time for a slat scrub.
Kisses and Love

[skygirl2003]

Oh Karen, dahling, first of all, as your best galpal, I think that you should really see Dr. K.N. He is a Perv, so don't take his couch (on second thought, maybe that is what you need . . . h-m-m-m-m-m).
OK, I have us booked for the Bar S. Ranch down south. Just think of the rolling meadows and woodlands. After living in your limo, please dahling, that has to sound good! Carlos wants to bring Raoul. I know that you do not like him, considering how he colored your hair hot pink, but remember dahling, your were BOTH doing ectasy! Not to mention you were walking bent over for one and a half weeks! Let bygones be bygones. He is bringing the champagne for our champagne breakfast!
Since you are so stubborn, Reba Rae's daughter, Ruby is going to take Rosario's place in the new "House for Humanitarium" house that they built for you. Just think of all the stories she can share with you about being poor! Jose, one of the Salvs said that you can sleep with him. Not bad, no, dahling? And just think of all the "sex in the slums" stories that Reba Rae can share with you! Mahvelous!
Well, about KarenAir, I managed to sleep my way - I mean - get financial help to save the company. Too bad your beloved Stan isn't around to see this. But always a good side - no more back problems for you! Call me, dahling. I am feeling so much better about you. Oh, forgive me dahling - your mother - has she gotten over the house landing on her sister?

[Reba Rae Redneck]

My only problem with that is (I'm searching for truth here) whether or not some of the people here are really female that profess to be so. Some of the beloved characters here could be something else...

Oh, NWA, I sware I'm a woman. I definitely gots the breasts to prove it. Granted, they're hangin' down to my navel after nursin' two dozen rugrats, but I'm 100% bone-a-fide USDA redneck babe!

"Bo Duke, you better not be eatin' the last of my pork rinds, or so help me Gawd, I'll tar and feather yer scrawny little butt!"

[Karen 737]

<font color="deeppink">
I really dont understand why the FAA wanted to close down the airline in the first place. I mean I dont know any airline jargon, but the DC-7 seemed to be incredibly comfortable and have extremely pretty interiors with nice uniforms, so whats the problem? I mean sure the plane was older than most of the crew but does that not mean its had more experience? Airline people help me!
Yeah the El Salvadoreans, I kept them tied up outside without food for two days, so she should be extra ornery. Listen, honey, I'm gonna go grab some lunch with some of the other gals from the typing pool. Oh! It's Zoey's birthday. Fran made cupcakes.
Cant wait!
Kisses

[skygirl2003]

Karen, dahling. You really must put those DC-7 questions to rest. I mean really. As I said, I am sleeping my way - I mean taking care of business.
Now dahling, where did you disappear to at the Bar S. Ranch? There I am. Stark naked, a bit of a chill, my mouth hung, ogling at men, hung like stallions, I turn around, you are gone. Well, let me tell you, dahling, I had a fabulous time! Do you happen to know what happened to Carlos and Raoul? Can't seem to find them either. Call me, dahling. I must return home.

[Karen 737]

<font color="deeppink">
Oh Skygirl, someone was asking about you in the elevator. Yeah, it was your youth, and it wants its clothes back! Never take me to one of those 70s night again . . . good lord the fish in those shoes must have been dead for . . . honey what year are we in now?
Poodle, I am planning my entire weekend around the opening of your one woman show "If Vaginas Could Talk".
Tonight I'm at your showcase, laughing and crying. Tomorrow I'm at Dermy's, pumping my face full of enough Botox to erase any sign that I ever laughed or cried. Sundays I go to worship at St. Patty's. Or the Rusty Nail, whichever has happy hour.
Looking forward to your kisses

[skygirl2003]

Clothes clothes clothes. Who cares, dahling? What? Pass you the joint? Sweetie, there's a bottle of champagne right in front of you. Oh, my opening night. What did you think? Did I say too much? (Yeah - those two ho's in the bar, Dominique and the other one . . . ) God. I'm going home. Where in the hell is Carlos and Raoul? I think they eloped. Good God. And where in the hell is my Royce?? Call me. Dahling - please get rid of that statue in front of the driveway. Good God, another bruise.

[Karen 737]

<font color="deeppink">
Honey I have no idea where Raoul and Carlos but I have told the airports and borders to find their sorry asses because boy were they good!
Who does that Stanley Walker think he is? Trying to cheat me outta half of his fortune? I gave that man the drunkest years of my life!
How dare Stanley Walker say that I wasn't a good wife?! You think it was fun sharing my bed with that gas machine? I swear. I am never speaking to that man again. I mean it, I'm done!
Well its the funeral next week .. . time to remember the fun times heh?
Kisses

[Paddles_up]

Well its the funeral next week .. . time to remember the fun times heh?



Girlfriend....brace yourself for the shock of your life!

[Karen 737]

<font color="deeppink">
Thank You for all of the condolences from my friends here, Dr. Playmate, the Doc, dispatcher, Skygirl, even Reba took her best clothes and best kids to the funeral, so thanks for the support guys ... I love ya!

I am just that I'm feeling so many emotions... Loss, anger, sadness. Knowing how much money I'm getting would really snap all of that into focus.

I just found out he has changed his will ...

More soon!
Kisses!

[Dr._Playmate]

My only problem with that is (I'm searching for truth here) whether or not some of the people here are really female that profess to be so. Some of the beloved characters here could be something else...



<font color="purple"> Somehow I missed this one. I've been tied up lately. Anyhow... 100% female here. Maybe 6% silicone. I wouldn't pretend to be something I'm not. Unless, of course, I'm playing "nurse" for the evening. :wink_2:

[Dr. Loverboi]

<font color="purple">I've been tied up lately.



Me too. Isn't it fun when that happens to you? :wink_2:

[skygirl2003]

Karen, Honey, the funeral was quite unusual. I cannot believe they dropped the casket! Well, on the contrary, considering, well, you know. My Lord! And the way poor Stan just rolled into his 10-ft x 20-ft hole like a rolly-polly. I tried not to laugh. It's a good thing I was on illegal meds. Did the funeral parlor return the crane?
Oh - I saw Cher today. I told her what happened. Poor thing, so much Botox, she could not even laugh.
They found Raoul at the Mexican border. He was trying to smuggle his family into the country. My God what is this world coming to. Carlos is back in my bed -I - mean company. You may borrow him anytime. Also, I did not have to sleep my way to get you back on your feet. The crook - I mean - high profile Lawyers will have KarenAir up and running very soon. They will even fix - I mean - look into Stan's will. Call me, Dahling. I have a surprise for you this week. You will love it!

[Doc._K_N_Owitall]

I just want to send a quick thank you note.
It's my proper upbringing you know.
You were spectacular, more than I hoped for.
I hope it gave you some comfort.
tnx !

[Karen 737]

<font color="deeppink">
Oh Skygirl, I haven't had a good old girly chat with you for such a long time, what's happened, have you run out of weed? I admire your principles. Almost as much as I admire my diamond ring in your hand. Give it up, I know you've been hanging round the vault since Stan died and I've been away!
Anyway, I'm off to St. Barts tommorow, Stan wanted his ashes scattered in the Caribbean off the back of his yacht. It's going to feel very empty there without him. Of course, any place would feel empty without Stan. He took up a lot of room.
Kisses poodles!

[Paddles_up]

It's going to feel very empty there without him



I think the feeling will be wet! :shocked:

[skygirl2003]

"Wet" is right, dispatcher! Poor thing. Karen is really losing it.
Karen, Honey, was my yacht not good enough? Oh. Forgive me. About the will and ring, I must confess, Stan willed the ring to me. Dahling, do not hate me. Stan's will. Well . . . he blackmailed me. It was either sleep with him or he would expose me for who I really am. What was I to do? Oh honey, it was horrible. Do you know how may times I had to reach for an oxygen mask during the "baboom baboom baboom"? Of course you do. The vault dahling - there's nothing left in it. I spent it all on my last trip to Rio. Call me. I will make it up to you. Carlos promised.