help......................

[N727NK]

I need help.. I don't know why I am feeling the way I am feeling, or have been. I don't even know how to put it into words. or what feeling it is. I'm 24, live in a goddam apartment, have nothing to speak of at all, except my fiancee. It's to the point where I feel like almost no one cares, everything is going wrong and no matter how hard I try to do things "right" they always turn out worse then they were before. I had a job that I dreamed of. I got fucked with there. I got fired, and re-instated the same day. I had people buy others and they started hating me. Pilots. F/A's. Anyone. I felt like an outcast, which is no different then how I have felt whereever I have been in my 24 years. I have always felt like an outcast. The person no one wants around. the person no one likes. you know the perosn who is always picked last for a team. I'm the scapegoat. something goes wrong blame chris. something breaks blame chris. it's raining? Blame chris. I never get the right treatment anywhere by anything or anyone. I always feel so goddam used by people its frustrating and i dont know what to do about it. do this help here go there do that DONT do that stop go .. it's what I hear all the time. no matter what i always get the same thing. somepeople thinging i need to be drugged up some not. some people not caring others some and others a lot. just because i am different doesn't mean the world should hate me because of it. i don't understand why i feel this way cause i shouldnt cause i know my mom and dad care and my fiancee loves me but i still feel so frikkin empty its like i need to go to a gas station and drain their tanks and that wont be enough becuae if how empty i am. theres so much i want to do but im always told i cant or shouldnt or threatened or given ultimadeums. i cant find a job i cant find any way to get money i have had the thought of giving it all up but then what would that do where would i go huh. i want to give her a ring so badly but i cant afford my bills right now. she knows it but keeps mentioning it not even knowing that she is. i get invited to fla for a disney trip but can't go cause i cant afford shit. i want to see my family in florida and go to a family wedding in july but cant bacuase of money. i have a hard time keeping food here, i have a hard time keeping gas in my car, i have a hard time getting up everyday i just want to go somewhere where i can have some peace and not have everyone screaming for me to do 100000000000 things at the same damn time. im only human i can only tolerate so much before going insane. i think i am losing my mind it is so scary not knowing how i will keep going but i know i have to. why am i feeling like this help.....

[Dr. Loverboi]

Hi Chris,

I'm sorry to hear that you're going through a really tough time in your life. But all is not lost.

I'm going to try to answer this as best I can, as much of it as I can. I may not have all the answers, and I don't claim to have all of them, but I have a few of them to help you get through this.

First, we all have peaks and valleys like this in life. No one is perfect. You must learn from the events in your life that don't work in your favour, and make yourself stronger by the fact that you went through those events.


The person no one wants around. the person no one likes.



But your fiancee loves you. She wants you around. Hell, that's more than a LOT of people have in this world we currently live in, dude! :grin:

You talked about being an outcast. You're not an outcast here. You're among friends who, I'm sure when they read this, will care about you, help you, and give you guidance. :smile_2: :cool_2:

And just as you're not an outcast here, there are other places where you're not that way, either. Right now, I believe that you're letting everything get you down at once, and you're in a rut, so to speak. What you have to do is think things through, remind yourself that you're capable of doing anything you want in life, and set new goals and vistas for yourself. You need to figure out what you want in life, determine or find out how to get there, then do what is necessary to get there.

Take a step back, but don't run and hide. And please don't do anything drastic, okay?

I thought about something: You were a flight attendant, right? Not everyone can be one, it takes a lot of attention to detail, as you're responsible for the lives of others in the aircraft. Remember the training you went through? If you can survive that, you can do anything!


i think i am losing my mind it is so scary not knowing how i will keep going but i know i have to.



Think about the things that are positive in your life. You're alive, you're experiencing another day in this living universe, you have people close to you who love you and care about you. Then use those things as a foundation on which to build everything else.

Print this inspirational poem out. Read it whenever you feel that things are getting you down.



Don't Quit

When things go wrong as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest if you must, but don't you quit!

Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out,
Don't give up though the pace seems slow,
You may succeed with another blow.

Success is failure turned inside out,
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far,
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit,
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.

A few more thoughts for you: Take things as they come, one day at a time. And remember, as each day ends: If you've survived your past, you've earned your future. :smile_2:

DISCLAIMER: Viewpoints and advice given herein should be taken as friendly advice, of mainly humorous value, and should not be necessarily understood as professional guidance. Always seek the guidance of a licensed professional (because, like, they get paid for it, dude!). For best results, do not dry clean. All Rights Reserved. E. Pluribus Unum.

[Sugarpuffs]

Chris
I understand how you feel.
The Dr. has come up with some great points.

It seems to me, you are far too uptight trying to please everybody at the moment and also worrying about the future.

Take some time out just for yourself. Even if it's only for a few hours.

Can I suggest to you that you also read a couple of books which also might help. I admit they are real old chestnuts bbuutt they might just help :smile_2:

The first is by Dale Carnegie - 'Stop Worrying and Start Living.'
The second is 'Chicken Soup' sorry I can't remember the author.

If they are out of print you might find them in a secondhand bookshop or even on Amazon.com.

Some pieces of advice I can give you are:-

1/ Learn to relax.

2/ Learn to meditate -you only need to do this for say 15mins. a day. Close your eyes and think of "Nothing".
At first it will be hard to clear the junk from your mind, but persevere. :smile_2:

3/ Start a new or long forgotten hobby in your spare time.

4/ Go for a walk on your own in the country to clear the cobwebs.

5/ Whilst out on the walk, don't think. Instead look and examine the things around you. Think only about the things you see in front of you.

Many people at some point in their life feel the same way as you. You are not alone.

As the Dr. says your friends in here are here for you.

I hope you will soon pull yourself out of this.
What it really comes down to, with the help of a little advice, is that
you have got to help yourself.

I know my last comment may come as a slap in the face.
Sorry for that, but sometimes that is what is needed. The slap in the face, that is, as a wake up call. And with the best intent. :smile_2:

It is the rude awakening to the fact that however bad it all seems, life really ain't all bad but, yes at times it can be hard.
:smile_2:

Good luck, I wish you all the best and may you soon find happiness again. :smile_2:

[Docent75]

You might find group therapy useful. You will see solutions to your problem by seeing other’s problems. Does your Ryan or union have an employee assistance program? That would be a place to ask about a group.

[Dr._Playmate]

<font color="purple"> Chris,

Some good advice already given! You know, most people think I'm crazy in some capacity. I really don't give a rat's ass though. :grin: You KNOW your fiancee ADORES you. I'm sure she gives you the shirt off her back, at which point you throw it onto the floor and passionately... Whooops! Sorry! Getting off topic here!

Anyhow, I guess what I'm saying is, focus on what you've got in your life that makes you smile. It will help you pull away from what brings you down.

Chin up Chris. You've got friends here. :laugh:

Dr. Penelope Playmate

[i]Disclaimer: Data and information is for the humourous consumption of the audience. No one shall be entitled to claim detrimental reliance on any information provided or expressed. Violations of Section 69 are subject to criminal prosecution in a sexual court.

[yoshi]

Hey Chris, sorry to hear that you've been feeling down. I think we've all been there at some point in our lives. You know, I've met you and I think you're a really nice guy. Why let it bother you if others look down on you? If you do, you're actually letting them govern your life. We can't please everyone we encounter. You're 24, you live on your own and you have/had a job I think that says alot about you, that you're a responsible person. I was on my own at a very early age and I've also struggled to make ends meet but I did it and you will too. You're still young kiddo! Their are others out there who can't make it on their own. It is tough to find employment out there now especially in the airline industry, but maybe you should try something else like real estate. You can always go back into the airline industry once it picks up again. You also have a fiance who loves you. I'm sure she understands about the ring. It's only natuaral that she may mention about it once in awhile, hey diamonds are our best friend! :grin: When I became engaged, I didn't get the typical diamond ring, my husband gave me an Irish Claddaugh ring. No I wasn't disappointed about not recieving a diamond ring and still till this day, I don't want/need one. All that mattered to me when we became engaged was that the man I love was asking me to spend the rest of my life with him. I'm sure you and Audrey will have a lifetime of happiness and that is something to look forward to also. Chris, it's really not that bad, we all get into a rut once in while but you can't let that stop you. I agree w/ Sugar and Docent, you may want talk to a professional about this. But if you just want to chat to a non-pro, you have my number, I'm a good listener though I may end up bawling with you throughout the conversation! :grin: It may be a bumpy ride but you'll have a smooth landing! http://216.40.249.192/s/kao/chika/chirup_grasan.gif

[Doc._K_N_Owitall]

Even though it can feel really good to let off some steam I believe the problem can only be solved with rational thinking.
You need a plan. You’ve identified the problem, you know your goal.
It may be a long road. Many people have tried a get rich quick system, I personally don’t trust them.
So you may have to lower your standards initially to get to the place you want to be.
You need employment, for obvious reasons. You keep your residence, to get married, to travel, etc.
So you can’t get the job you ultimately want. Get a simple one.
Anything. You need to pay rent. And it’s a more comfortable place to start looking from.
Then pick one that will benefit your resumé somewhat. Like anything in customer service.
Or anything holiday or hotel related, or something where you could pick up another language.
Or anything around the airport, you can explain that in an interview as wanting to stay close to the place you want to end up.
It will be a slow plan but after some time you will see progress.
Keep your eye on the ball, always be on the lookout for that next opportunity towards your gaol.
And eventually you will get there.

In the meantime try to communicate very clearly to your lady what your intentions are.
She’ll appreciate you taking the time to do that and she’ll admire your ambition.
And she might turn out to be just the support you might need at some point.
Keep her in the loop, keep her involved.

Suck up to the people that are in a position to help you with these employment opportunities.
And remember, one step at the time, one job after another, slowly up the ladder towards your personal goal.
Be willing to do, what you do, very well. They’ll become reverences.
You’ll get there. The persistence ones always win in the end.